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28 November 2010

Unexpected thing on this blue Sunday

I was sick and until now still sick. I have a terribly stomachache and I was hard to breathe. I might have my ulcer in my body. I decided to have a rest on the afternoon after going to church. And luckily I got wet because of this fuck rain. So, beside stomachache and hard to breathe, I got a cold too. Pity on me? I don't need it. THANKS
After having a rest for 2,5 hours I suddenly got up. I heard something noisy, precisely some people talked each other. I remember those voices. It my mom's and my cousin's. I was sure that my cousin took my niece to my home. But there are still other voices on my house. A man! It's not my dad's voice. I  wonder whose voice it is. So, I decided to go down to the 1st floor of my home and look there were many people at my house. And my mom said "That's F***Y". What??!! I didn't believe it. I thought that might be I was in my dream but actually NOT! It's real! I asked to my mom what makes him and his dad come to our house and she said that that my "old" cousin has a business with my uncle.
It's like DURIAN RUNTUH when I knew that he came to my house! I wonder when I would meet him up again and God answered it. But then I was a lit bit of regret because I was sick! I was totally mess. Aaargghh I wanna scream on that time. Then I washed my face and comb my hair. My cousin decided to go back because it has evening already. After that, my mom talk to them. And my mom took me to come here (my living room) to shake hands. I was a lit bit of doubt but then I said to my self "Hey girl, it's your dream. You can shake your hands together with him" Ya, what's the point so I didn't want to shake hands together. Remember, we are FAMILY right? I shaked the father first and gave my smile and then I shaked him and smile :) He smiled me back. Gosh, I thought that I would be unconscious that time. I back to my room. Yeayy finally I touched him again!!
Out of blue, I realized that I have to take a picture with him! Ya, it's my desire for a long time. Then I rethought it again, what will he say if I ask him to taking pict together? Will he think that I have a feeling for him?  I'm dilemma guys. He's so handsome, tall, white, smart, basketball player, religious. What more??

09 November 2010

I'm feeling nothing

YES. I'm absolutely feeling nothing about something around me. I feel empty even I'm in the crowded. People around me like non-sense for me. I don't know why. Probably I'm bored with them and perhaps it just take a short time because it's so disgusting me. As you know, you have to be making your self comfort wherever you are and whatever condition you have. If you can't, it will be hard for you to survive on this tough earth. It's look like I lost in my own way. Just my self that the only one who can repair it and certainly helped by God. Ya maybe I should ask to my God what does happen to me and what should I do to me